`cynic's child`

Saturday, March 26, 2005

its been long since i last updated... 2 weeks in fact? anyway alot has happened.. i dunno wer to start recounting, or mebbe i shldnt even bother coz its long past.

and CAEZURA got into the semi-finals for Talentime!! whoohoo! and btw, dats my dance grp... but e competition wasn't reali dat tough la.. coz onli got 5 groups and 4 got into e next round. but im happy nonetheless, coz e audition din go reali well la. we onli started choreographing last week and we're doing Jumpin' Jumpin' by Destiny's Child summo.. damn fast and difficult lor. in e end we had to repeat some sequences which apparently din go down well wif e audience.. and due to lack of rehearsal time, some of us forgot our steps i.e ME! but i juz smiled it off and continued... most of e comments we got were dat it was hot albeit a lil messy here and there. we promise to go to e finals and show JJC what dance is all about man! dat is.. once we get our steps polished and our grooves right.. watch out! actuali, i seriously tink dat our group has a high chance of winning e competition coz:

1. Firstly, all of us can dance... unlike some of e other groups who got e reali good ppl to pull it off for those who cant reali dance well

2. our choreography is sophisticated and reali reali reali original ^.^ thanx to kai eng

3. we're an all girl group and we tend to coordinate betta...

4. we're e onli group doing a whole song while others are all doing remixes, so we tend to stand out

yep, we gonna put in our best for e FINAL SHOWDOWN on 6th of May so keep ur eyes peeled!

haben been sleeping well for e past few nights.. been worrying over dance, stressed over a sucky timetable and endless tests, family problems and more importantly, ziheng. till date, i have one mo xie and a yu wen exercise overdue for chinese.. sian~ dunno wat dey gonna do wif me man... im certainly not managing time properly and i reali shld sort things out by this weekend. and did i mention dat my new timetable sux? yea i did.. but i shall repeat. MY TIMETABLE SUX! on monday i onli start lessons at 130 but i hafta report to sch at 8 for assembly, or i'll be counted as absent. wed and thur are my suckiest days.. got 6 periods back to back.. and after dat, dey give us a super long break. duh.. and im always so sleepy coz ziheng calls me till reali late in e night.. like till 3am or 4am liddat, so i onli manage a few miserable hours of sleep. and he still dares to tell me dat im having a pimple outbreak... and its all his fault!

given a choice, i would turn back time and not say hi to him at queensway shopping centre

butterflies whispered at
3/26/2005 12:00:00 PM

Saturday, March 19, 2005

its been a long day today.. cant wait to juz fall in bed and sleep.. but ah, e night is young and i still got plenty of homework to finish. haha.. serves me right for leaving everything to e last min..

got up bright and early at 6 today to meet deniece at Jurong East to have breakfast b4 going for CIP at kovan. ben came too and bought us tiong bahru buns.. thanx dude! had chwee kueh from NTUC Foodfare, which wasn't very nice but will pass for a decent meal la. took e MRT all e way to kovan.. fell asleep halfway coz i was juz too tired (hell, i slept at 3 last night..). reached der, met up wif zulia, elaine n azrul and walked 15 mins to e Singapore Triathlon Association. man.. e pools der juz look so beckoning and inviting... and have i mentioned its been damn long since i've jumped into a swimming pool... oh gosh.. anyway, settled down to work on packing e stuff for 1600 runners.. at first it was quite interesting but it got mundane after a long while coz its juz so mechanical. but thankfully e ppl were very hospitable.. even treated us to a meal from e jap kitchen. left at around 3.. took e mrt wif azrul and he got off at dhoby ghaut.

dats wen i msged ziheng.. and we arranged to meet at orchard. actuali i intended to go jurong west cut hair... but i duno wat probed me to go meet him instead. anyway, got down at outram park and travelled back to raffles place to change train to orchard. den i played a prank on ziheng.. told him i suddenly had something on at home and had to rush back wen all e while i was behind him spying on his reaction. den he was like quite disappointed... kept pleading whether i could juz stop by a min or something.. but i rejected, saying it was urgent. and wen he walked off wif a very disappointed face, i tailed him and suddenly msged him to look behind. hahaa... dat look on his face wen he turned his head around is priceless... he probably felt so cheated. haha.. im sorry man.. hehehe.. and i kept laughing away while we walked. aiyo, i was so mean.. but he looked reali funny.. anyway, we walked around town and toked bout stuff.. din noe he could be so chatty and spontaneous. so totally unlike e ziheng whom i tot him to be.. coz he's always giving this buay song face in sch.. like very act cool act dao liddat. how was i to noe dat he's juz this reali amiable guy who loves fun and is quite pure at heart actuali? ya.. it was fun hanging out wif him.. he shared lotsa stories wif me.. and i guess wateva apprehension i have juz melted away by his friendliness and warmth. i felt totally at ease wif him... more so than any guy whom i've gone out alone wif, like alex and jinyi, ever since i became single. i dunno.. i dun wanna give him false hope coz he's still attached but at e same time, i feel like getting closer to him, to knoe him betta... dunno la.. but i muz not completely let my guard down.. coz i still have yet to peel off his superficial level fully to reveal e character underneath.. we'll see la.. but one thing's for sure, im tinking of him more than i shld.. not a good thing i say...

anyway.. had a dream bout yihao yesterday. dreamt dat a grp of us went to sentosa and while e rest went home, he and i were left. he was walking in front oh me wen he suddenly turned around and asked if i wan a ride home coz his dad is fetching him. so i said ok.. but deniece suddenly appeared and told me we have a meeting later on but wen she saw yihao, she cancelled it off. haha.. ya.. so i walked together wif him.. asked him bout nana... and he said dat, after i took e initiative to noe him betta, he started to develop feelings for me. ya.. den we walked.. and saw firdaus and shishi!!! haha.. and he pretended not to see us... so i hugged yihao right in front of him. but strangely, yihao's face wasn't yihao's.. and i was even telling firdaus how much 'yihao' looked like him haha.. e rest of e story, i cant rmb anymore.. but it was a sweet dream nonetheless...

huh.. i wonder if being single does these kinda weird things to u. u get so confused by ur own feelings towards ppl... huh...

butterflies whispered at
3/19/2005 10:57:00 PM

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

finally im back after a 4-day hiatus. it was reali fun man... there nv goes a day without laughter n fun. reali din regret coming wif em even tho i aint in e team. yea, its been confirmed..

first day, we departed JJ at around 7am.. had a long bus ride down to Kluang for bout 3 hours to train at Chong Hwa High Sch. e soccer boys had their match at e field, while volleyball girls, badminton boys and basketball boys had their games as well. after dat we headed to a Chinese restuarant for lunch.. had another super long bus ride to KL. checked in at Grand Continental and i had reena for my roommate!! weeee.. we were like positively gushing bout everything coz its e first time we are staying in a hotel away from our parents. took lotsa pics hahaa.. and we were like screaming away after seeing e bathtub... muz have alerted e room beside us too yea.. went for dinner at an indian restuarant.. and so e first day is basically gone liddat haha.
second day, woke up at bout 6.. had breakfast at e cafe downstairs and headed for our kajang high. but we were disappointed coz e district team we were supposed to play against din come and we had to pit against a beginner team instead. den e score turned out to be like 50+ to 0. haha.. wasted trip.. so we supported e soccer guys for their game but dey lost 2-1 nonetheless. it was a good fight tho... den comes e juicy part. coz e soccer boys n netball girls share e same bus and both our teams had odd numbers, i happen to be sitting alone in front while waiting for e guys to finish their debrief. den yihao, unable to find a seat, asked if he could sit beside me and i agreed. so e bus ride started.. another long long ride.. so both of us, feeling tired, fell asleep. i was sitting on his left and while i slept, i had my head tilted to e left. den coindentally, his head tilted to e right so our heads were like reali close to each other.. den e bus started to get rocky and our heads met.. haha. i swore dat i stopped breathing for a few moments.. i was like soooooo close to him. man.. juz like wat chaoshun said in sch last week.. haha, he predicted dat this would happen. and it did!!! wooooo.. but it was onli for a while la.. coz after his head hit mine, he woke up and adjusted himself to a proper position.. i woke up after a while coz i was too excited oredi.. and jingyi, who was sitting directly behind us, saw it! haha.. managed to talk wif him for a lil coz i was too shy and din dare to open my mouth too frequently since he's tired.. den got off e bus for lunch at an eatery near e hotel.. had a short rest back in e room wif reena and headed out for training at some public park which had a reali scenic view and a public netball court. but no longer than 10 mins after we took e court, it started to rain so we headed back together and had dinner at some indian restuarant again. had debrief at miss choo's room and slept..

third day woke up bright n early again... were supposed to head for kajang to play another team but e venue was changed to ampang. so we dropped e soccer boys at subang b4 heading der and boy, it was such a long ride coz e driver kept getting lost haha.. quite amusing. finally reached der and had a decent game tho we still won 50+ to bout 8 or 9.. haha, we're strong man! e malaysian girls were super frenly.. took photos wif us after e game n all.. den boarded e bus again to have lunch at some malay restuarant opened by a famous m'sia star. den went back to e hotel to rest b4 going to berjaya times square for shopping!! i bought a MOGU-alike pillow.. tho not as nice as e real thing but its betta than all those imitations nonetheless. and its soooo cheap.. 36.50 ringgit only.. and im sooo totally in love wif it. walked wif reena, cheryl and wenda.. after buying stuff, we went to e Cosmo World indoor theme park. it's e world's largest indoor theme park... super fun man! e rollercoaster is reali thrilling man.. took a few rides.. wahahahahaa... me and reena were totally crazy n hyper oredi.. damn fun lor! and i aint scared at all... aiyo, wats wrong wif me? i tink i need something more thriling... wenda vomitted after one of e rides.. too dizzy oredi.. jietong, xiaojun and xiling who was wif jielin in another grp oso vomitted after dey chiong 6 rides at one go.. haha. but me and reena were like so unaffected liddat.. too bad we couldn take photos der.. oh well.. but it was helluva experience i tell ya.. ya, den headed back to e hotel again.. had debrief and we got reali emotional coz we had to say our most sincere feelings. almost everyone cried... quite a scene la.. coz while crying, we oso cracked up alot.. very very memorable.. after dat invited lawrence n jinyi to our room to play daidee while e others partied at yuyin's room. haha.. quite fun.. got pranked by aneesha, yuyin n jietong wen dey told us miss choo wanted to see us for bringing guys into e room.. haha, i was so traumatised!!! i reali believed em man.. scared e shit outta me. after dey left at 1230 den we slept lor.. i tot we slept oredi but e others actuali slept at 4+ coz dey were still chatting ahha..

last day, we woke up at around 8.. had breakfast and den we headed to suria mall for shopping again! this time i went wif jielin and xiling.. not dat fun la.. coz not alot of things to look at. all branded stuff.. and e adidas warehouse sale wasn't reali great as well. in e end, i bought a reebok shirt for my bro, an orange-red shirt and a blue cap for myself as well as a puma bottle for evelyn. spent like 150 bucks der oredi haha.. yep, after shopping, we headed back to singapore liao.. wonderful wonderful trip i muz say.

managed to take a photo wif yihao wen we reached sch bt i look so ugly lor........ aiyo.. while he looked sooooo handsome.. saw him walking in another direction different from wer he would normally walk. he walked e route dat nana usually took after sch.. so i wondered if he was meeting her or something.. i hope not. i reali hope dey're juz frenz.. coz i sense yihao getting closer to me oredi.. keeps teasing me 'applie, y u so sad' hehee.. well, i'll juz hafta wait n see lor.. hopefully hopefully..

and while i was away at kl.. my 3rd auntie-in-law passed away.. it was onli during new yr wen we last saw him and now he's gone. to tink i was still at ampang wer he lived on sunday morning. my family went down to attend e funeral but dey couldn contact me coz i din have autoroam. so i reached home and my bro told me, i was like totally shocked... i was soooooo near yet i din get to see him one last time. he's a kind man... very very loving to his wife but now she's widowed. my mum cried wen she recounted e story and i cried wif her... for not having e fate to go to attend e funeral. sigh.. life's short.. i juz hope he'll rest in peace.. coz my bro said he looked contented in e coffin.. wish him a good life in e afterworld and we'll all miss him. sigh...

butterflies whispered at
3/15/2005 10:26:00 PM

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

dey're not together!!!!!! wahoooooo..... dat is, unless gwen lied to me dat nana doesnt like him and dat dey aint a couple la... but well, i trust gwen ^.^ lalalallala..

and since i had a super long break from 1030 till 2.. i planted myself in one of e cubicles in e library and started studying. snored for bout an hour b4 doing my econs and studying for my chinese test. den wen i was bout to leave at 2pm for my mo xie, i stood up and a few metres in front of me, there he was studying as well.. ooooooooo... i swore dat my heart skipped a beat. geee.. pretended i din see him la... den walked out to get my mo xie done.

met ziheng at e staffroom. well.. he msged me late last night and we chatted for bout an hour.. from 12 to 1. wah.. so hiong. dunno wat motive he had for dat, but well, im on my guard coz he has a gf oredi. den he was like msging me thru e course of e day... i guess i probably spent more than 50 msgs today on him lor. dun worry.. i dun like him.. juz knowing him as a fren. din noe he was such a frenly person coz from his appearance, he always looked so dao... to tink he would smile at me b4 i went off. haha.. he was toking to ms mandy while i had my mo xie, so i happen to eavesdrop a lil haha.. pretty funny la. coz we were together in arts for bout 1 yr and onli recently did we tok to each other. and wen it did start, its on such a frequent basis. im starting to get a lil freaked man... haha. but got it cleared up juz now wen i told him bout my concerns dat his gf may misunderstand and dat we're probably getting it on too fast.

ya.. headed back to e library to study again. actuali i oredi intended to do so no matter yihao is still der or not.. but well, chaoshun msged me during my mo xie to quickly head to e library coz he's der. keke.. i was like so happy wen i saw his bag on e shelf. so i studied.. couldnt reali concentrate coz i was straining e corner of my eyes in case he walked past.. and caught him twice haha. anyway.. i was feeling a lil light-headed after e encounter wif ziheng.. dunno y. mebbe its bcoz im too shy hahahahahhhahaha.. managed to do a lil b4 heading for yoga. and wen i stood up to leave, he made a sound to catch my attention and waved bye to me. lalalallalalalala... im liek totally elated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehehee....

stayed back after yoga to do work wif elaine until 7+... din have a chance to say bye to yihao tho he was in e canteen as well coz he's too busy. but im still contented la.. esp. after knowing dat nana n him weren't an item.. means i still got chance la! hehehehe...

so many things to study for tml..... got 2 chinese tests sia... shitty shitty.ciao den~

butterflies whispered at
3/09/2005 11:16:00 PM

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

yihao likes nana. and i tink nana likes him too..

today i saw em toking den gwen, afiah and carmen were teasing em. so more or less, it shld be true i guess.. hai..

i was like so stunned.. a pang of hurt juz came over my heart. i nv knew i liked yihao so much.. i mean, he's like e person who made me get over firdaus and now dat im entirely over him, this has to happen. my fantasies, dreams and everything juz got crushed.. but i forced myself to accept it all e same. nana is my fren.. i told her b4 dat if yihao were to like a fren of mine, i would wish em all e best. and if its true dat dey're oredi together, i shld juz get over him and give em my blessings.

but it cant stop e hurt in any case. gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... i sank in too deep.

but oh well. today was quite a conducive day coz i did my chinese hw during e 4 hours break i got despite sleeping for one hour of it. went to e library to study so i guess without e distraction of constantly looking for yihao, i concentrated lor. shall do dat from now on and stop wasting my time on him...

gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

butterflies whispered at
3/08/2005 09:51:00 PM

Saturday, March 05, 2005

hate FOD for not logging me in.. it seems like im e onli one who cant login. eve can... may can.. all the rest can except for me me ME! idiot. i think FOD blocked me or something la.. well i can't be bothered. i got blogspot.com.. but even then, im so pissed off because it didn't publish 4 of my entries, all of which were really eventful ones and super meaningful to me. but idiot blogspot.com decided that i spent too much time on penning the entry so it logged me out in the meantime. then when i clicked on 'publish', it required me to re-enter my password and when i got logged on again, it returned me to the main page instead of to "Entries Published". So that's why i abstained from blogging for about... one month? and i must remind myself to copy my entries before i click on 'publish' so that it won't screw it up again. grrr.. i think they all hate me. but oh well.. too bad for you that you couldn't keep up with e gossip that was supposed to be up if not for idiotic blogspot.com. anyway, i've decided to type proper english instead of shorthand because i think it looks intelligent this way. haha.

and hey, i got A2 for my chinese AO! not bad eh.. considering i didn't study very hard. hopefully next year, i can repeat this same performance for my Chinese A and my other subs as well. the J2s were watching a 'live transmission' of the release of A level results in Lt5 and i guess it's a pretty harrowing experience. can see all their 'kan cheong' faces and all.. gets me a lil nervous as well. yikes.. i wonder if i'll be broadcasted like that too.

still battling flu since thurs. i seem to have a never-ending spate of illnesses.. after appendix pain, i got gastric flu.. after gastric flu, i got gastric pains.. after gastric pains, i get flu. is it the feng shui or what? 'coz my sis is down as well.. she's got unaccounted-for tummy pains. went to the hospital and couldn't find anything wrong with her but she still gets e pain all the same. shit. i hope i don't end up like that too. i guess i'm getting better la.. 'coz i keep eating to keep myself full and the gastric won't come. and i realised i got a supersonic metabolism rate; that's why i need to keep eating and eating and eating. pray for me that i won't get fat with all that gorging.. =S

had P6 tutoring today at cps. pretty fun and engaging, though they are more playful than the P3 pupils we had last year. at first, i was quite apprehensive and reluctant to go 'coz i was so tired.. but they perked me up. hope it'll be fruitful for their PSLE at the end of the year. then went out with evelyn to queensway to get my FBT shorts. saw jun, tp and jielin.. then ziheng and his tennis buddy.. then jietong, who happens to be late again 'coz jun was supposed to meet her. met mr ler as well.. and mengqi on the bus. haha.. so many familar faces. i wonder why i never ever get to see yihao outside before. hmmm~ after that we went to JEC for lunch. had a super-duper expensive meal at pizza hut.. wasn't worth the money but we treated it as a congratulatory reward for our chinese results. eve got b4! wow, i'm happy for her! kept at it for an hour haha.. 'coz it was really alot of food and we wanted to prolong it as long as possible to make it worthwhile. walked around popular and headed home after dat. saw hup hua and eu yee at the bus stop, heh heh.

yihao likes nana. how? but i heard from jinyi that he ain't that into her anymore.. and i still catch him glancing at me. gaa.. i don't know. we're going to KL with the soccer boys (albeit with other sports as well) and i hope i can catch his attention during this period. geee.. i sound pretty scheming. and i'm so looking forward to this trip!! everyone's going.. even though not all might be playing. but it'll be a good bonding experience.. i'm keeping my fingers crossed that i'll get a place in the team despite knowing i don't stand a good chance of taking the court in the nationals. but anything beats being left out. i don't want to feel the same way as last year again. sigh~

need to finish loads of homework tomorrow. tata~

butterflies whispered at
3/05/2005 10:18:00 PM