[[see through me]]
[x] applie
[x] elaine/menghui/apple pie/heng mui/ah meng
[x] sweet seventeen turning elephantine eighteen
[x] 02/11/1987
[x] jurong junior college
[x] family, friends
[x] passion, truth, beauty, love
[x] adventure seeker, daredevil at heart
[x] cynical optimist
[x] introvertly emotional
[x] hypersensitive, uberparanoid
[x] down-to-earth, happy-go-lucky

[[fancies]]
[x] white chocolate
[x] rum and raisin ice cream
[x] strawberries in any form
[x] gummy candies
[x] contemporary popular dance
[x] singing chee-na pop
[x] pink and white
[x] shopping and window-shopping
[x] swimming
[x] short poems
[x] stoning
[x] smiling and making ppl smile
[x] mint

[[pooh-poohs]]
[x] smokers
[x] animal abusers
[x] two-timers/womanisers
[x] male chauvinist pigs
[x] injections/dental/surgery
[x] flying bugs
[x] supernatural occurences
[x] gore
[x] insecurity


[[withered glory]]
December 2004 January 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005

[[friends and favs]]
designer
chaoshun
evelyn
xiaowen
serena
Xiaxue
Ayumi Hamasaki
Shutterfly ;

Thursday, October 20, 2005

i tink im burning out





i duno how much longer i can last





u muz be tinking that im crazy, but i feel like giving up...





its getting harder by e day, getting more and more tedious. my concentration levels follows inversely proportionate. u dun see it on my face nor in my work coz its all mashed up inside. e things i gotta study seems neverending. i tink i reached my saturation level. nutting more can go in. i cant seem to get any higher than this, instead, my marks seemed to be going down with every practice i do. i seem to know everything that i shld know but i feel like i dunno everything that i shld noe. have u felt like that before?




i patiently stare at e words, and tried to assimilate them into my brain but i tink dey have diffused into thin air instead. i stare at them again and try to coax my brain into opening up. my eyes start to blur, i flip the page. i can't rmb what i juz read. i flipped e page back again. i stare at those very words again. i close the book, close my eyes, close my brain. or i close the book, close my brain, open my eyes, open my imagination. negative thoughts find a backdoor and starts turning my consciousness upside down.




i dun wanna wait till one and a half months later; i wanna get it over n done with now.





help. im drowning in paper.




im rambling and blabbering things i shldnt be saying at this crucial point in time. im being too paranoid. im being too sensitive. im being too foolish. im starting to feel e itch for e penknife.

butterflies whispered at
10/20/2005 12:10:00 AM