Thursday, June 30, 2005
finally, i dun hafta force myself to smile. finally, i felt truly happy. the first time in so many frightful days.
because i was ranked 3rd in mr tan's econs group. 4 classes in all. but dat was for e second common test la... e case study in which i unexpectedly scored well for. nonetheless, i was reali happy coz before that, i wasn't even in e top 25 for e first test. in fact, i was near borderline passing. im glad dat i've improved so much and econs seemed to be my best subject so far. yay yay! my target is gonna be fulfilled soon. but mid-yr results not out yet... im keeping my fingers crossed dat i won deprove. and another good thing is, 04A5 has made a great leap from e 3rd class to e 1st class in terms of passes. whoohoo!!! mr tan was positively beaming and heartened to see us improving, and im reali proud of my fellow classmates as well. our passing rate increased so drastically lor... and i hope dat our quality passes will improve by leaps and bounds as well. kudos to 04A5!
i've fallen in love with Weijian of Project Superstar. he's so superly cute. i dunno why but i juz tend to develop huge crushes on ppl wif this kinda looks. no go for those hunky guys wif bulging muscles n towering height. i fancy lanky ppl wif CUTE CUTE CUTE faces, and i tink Weijian is e epitome. and its a delicious bonus dat he sings so well too! i started to notice him during the episode wer all 24 contestants were briefly introduced and shared a lil bout their lives. even one of e judge said he was real cute and he shld follow dat route to megastardom. so now, im rooting for 2 ppl on e show.. first is Weilian and second is Weijian. one for the voice and one for e looks. purrrrr-fect.
attended a Stress Management Talk during civics. pretty enlightening and engaging. we took a mini-personality test and my behavorial style is Steadiness followed by Influence. so true eh...
im said to be friendly, outgoing, emotional, enthusiastic, sociable, sincere, dependable, loyal, supportive and considerate. sounds juz like me eh? and it suggested dat for me to cope wif stress, i gotta:
1. talk to others
2. confront the issue at hand
3. verbal encouragement from friends
4. sleep
e 4th option seems like e best option, but for now it wont be coz e interval time from being awake and falling asleep is juz e right time for my mind to start and hallucinate. well, i've tried toking it out to firdaus and i've received lotsa support from my friends. gotta thank elaine, chaoshun, jesline for keeping me going. i noe u guys will be der, but for e moment, i won tok bout it. mebbe not for a long time to come. i guess e onli thing i haben done is to confront e issue at hand. i cant tho... even tho i wished i could. coz i dread e consequences...
i observed e situation at home. LOOKS pretty normal but judging from e interaction, it juz doesnt feel all that comfortable at all. in fact, i feel the undercurrents most... and den e fear crept right back into my heart. =( i dunno how else to put it into words... its just... so bleak and intimidating. im 18 years old, going into adulthood... den this kinda thing happens. yea, im supposed to have betta coping mechanism now, and i guess i am than i would have if it happened 4 years ago or something. but still... nobody wans it to ever happen to their own family.
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!how i wished i'll go bonkers at this very instant then i won hafta tink so much, wonder so much, fear so much...
butterflies whispered at
6/30/2005 12:20:00 AM
