[[see through me]]
[x] applie
[x] elaine/menghui/apple pie/heng mui/ah meng
[x] sweet seventeen turning elephantine eighteen
[x] 02/11/1987
[x] jurong junior college
[x] family, friends
[x] passion, truth, beauty, love
[x] adventure seeker, daredevil at heart
[x] cynical optimist
[x] introvertly emotional
[x] hypersensitive, uberparanoid
[x] down-to-earth, happy-go-lucky

[[fancies]]
[x] white chocolate
[x] rum and raisin ice cream
[x] strawberries in any form
[x] gummy candies
[x] contemporary popular dance
[x] singing chee-na pop
[x] pink and white
[x] shopping and window-shopping
[x] swimming
[x] short poems
[x] stoning
[x] smiling and making ppl smile
[x] mint

[[pooh-poohs]]
[x] smokers
[x] animal abusers
[x] two-timers/womanisers
[x] male chauvinist pigs
[x] injections/dental/surgery
[x] flying bugs
[x] supernatural occurences
[x] gore
[x] insecurity


[[withered glory]]
December 2004 January 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005

[[friends and favs]]
designer
chaoshun
evelyn
xiaowen
serena
Xiaxue
Ayumi Hamasaki
Shutterfly ;

Saturday, June 25, 2005

shishi called me on my handphone juz now coz she had a quarrel wif firdaus and he is refusing to pick up her calls or reply her msgs. so she came to me for help... but what i could onli do was to calm her down, and give her advice on what to do... nutting much. but its surprising that she came to me first instead of anybody else.

so wanting to be a mediator... i called firdaus up and tried to tell him bout it. i detected e sense of helplessness and pain in his voice and he hung up on me before i even finished toking. called him back and asked him to juz cool down... his desolation was so raw and blatant. and wats more surprising is dat, i actuali felt a pang of heartache upon hearing it.

i have no idea whether it was juz feeling for a fren, sympathy for his state of anguish, or simply e lingering remanants of my love for him. i insist dat im over him; im juz not aware dat some things juz cant be gotten rid of no matter how hard i try.

but tinking back.. i cant seem to stop toking bout him entirely, esp. wen ppl around me tok bout relationships and e immediate link in my mind would be him. juz ask evelyn. she observed how i kept recounting e past to her bout events dat happened when we at that time happen to be either in e same place or same circumstance of what i experienced before with firdaus. but i cant help it if me and him reali shared dat much to be rediscovered and trounced on again in e future.

one thing is for sure.... i cant still be in love with him....................................................................... can i?

butterflies whispered at
6/25/2005 01:07:00 AM