Friday, June 24, 2005
i juz love to hear these lovely innocent and pure tunes when everything else in my life seems to be so bleak. its by Sixpence none the richer. Eve and me juz adore e song to bits.
im heartened. by e peeps who came n offered me encouragement, or at e very least, a listening ear. it may not seem alot, but enuff to give me a considerable sense of comfort and bring some light back into the darkness. xiaowen. keng ee. chaoshun. azrul. ahh... ziheng too.
speaking of which, i was browsing thru my "Sent Items" in my hp juz now. i've got a habit of deleting msgs straight after i read them coz unliek my Sony Ecrisson, Nokia doesnt offer the "Delete All" option when e inbox is spilling over, so to save e future cost of time and effort of deleting msgs one by one, i've decided to juz get rid of it once i've read it. but sometimes, it'll slip my mind and some msgs gets retained in e inbox. so i was looking thru... den i saw e msgs sent to ziheng, and it sounded suspisciously fishy coz msgs in between were deleted. suppose someone were to look at these msgs, he'll prolly tink dat im having something on wif him. so lemme clear e air(based by wat i rmb la... coz most of it have been deleted):
ziheng: hey whats on ya mind recently?applie: exams and personal problems...ziheng: ya ok? -something like, what kinda problems-applie: im alrightziheng: tell mi bout ur problemsapplie: thanx but nvm la. blah blah blah (i forgot)applie: hai, i dun intend to tell anyone bout it... dun wan word to spread aroundziheng: -something- i won tell anyone, i assure ya.applie: as in, dats juz part of it. i dun intend to tell anybody bout it. Im not confident of teling it to anyone. And y u wanna trouble urself with dis anyway...ziheng: its no trouble. i reali do care alright. -something-applie: thanx but im not about to share. take it as my bad k?-end of conversation-dats e real thing. and now compare it to what is currently left...
applie: hai, i dun intend to tell anybody bout it.. dun wan word to spread around.applie: as in, dats juz one part of it. im not confident of telling it to anyone. and y u wanna trouble urself wif dis anyway...applie: thanx but im not bout to share. take it as my bad k?like i secretly wif ziheng den dun wan ppl to noe liddat right? ahh.. in any case, we're not. and probably never will.
anyway, 2 papers down. 1 more to go in another 6 hours. lit paper 1. i totally have no idea how to study for it leh... so i juz went online and searched for some theme analysis and such. but dun tink it'll help much heh. im planning to wake up at 6am tml den go sch by 7 for last min study, but its almost 2 and im not in bed. coz im PARTY MOOD! chinese paper over liao and its a huge load off my chest! phew. so now i very relac...
well, econs went alright but not spectacularly good. at least i noe enuff to put ink on paper instead of spending most of my time dallying and staring blankly at e question, which is what usually happens 1 yr ago when im still an econs failure. but im planning to ace it for my A levels!!!!!!! er hum, but chinese wasn't as good la, coz i din prepare sufficiently. i mean,
THERE CAN NV BE ENUFF TIME OR BRAIN CAPACITY TO PREPARE FOR CHINESE coz der's simply tooooooooo much to memorise. but i tink i managed to crap my way thru. shouldnt be a problem passing la.. geee.
tml going out wif andrew, yingpeng, elaine and chaoshun to town! yay yay... den saturday going tanning wif gwen!! after dat sch reopen liao... i haben finish my homework leh. how ah?
i DIY-cut my fringe. but e rest of my hair needs trimming.. its getting too thick. but im phobic of haircuts liao. hate e way it turns out everytime. mebbe i'll juz content for now.
whats wif e internal strife in blogsphere bout SPG and xiaxue? basically, there's nutting between them directly but ppl are making up stories and criticising xiaxue for being jealous bout hogging the limelight with e boobs on SPG's entry. yea, she posted a naked pic for herself on her blog. den ppl had to go and kick up a big fuss over it. c'mon la, there's so much porn on the Net and u wanna pick on this tiny pic that shows her body in black and white? summo, its an artistically-taken picture lor. SEE WHAT I MEAN BY SUPERFICIALITY? den xiaxue being her usual sarcastic-humorous persona, wrote bout how SPG's boobs looked weird and commenting bout e fuss in e media over that. den it juz spiralled wen e ppl started to put words into her mouth and all. so misconstrued that WanBao even posted a picture of xiaxue and identified her as SPG in a horrific mistake of direct translation from TNP.
one word:
RIDICULOUS. and i completely feel for it coz the issue bout me and ziheng has been scandalised in the same pathetic and horrible way. hey ppl, get ur facts right la. u're causing unnecessary stress and tarnish on ppl (xiaxue is facing a breakdown amidst hate mail from ppl defending SPG) as well as e inevitable criticism on their social life and habits (SPG's family upbringing got dragged into the picture). and all this won escalate to such a ugly state if u guys bothered to keep ur gossip-hungry mouths shut or even tried to clarify e truth instead of juz "duan zhang qu yi" from hearsay. bleah. enuff of this sick shee-it.
i almost gave myself away while trying to spy on it. im certain im close to having a heart attack last nite. xian is not home and i got no one to tok to bout this. e problem is staring me in e face right now and i can do nutting but keep my eyes shut and pretend its not der, while trying to figure how to make it go away. quite futile as i can see it. and e fear is growing like a malignant tumour as days go by. if i dun solve it, or if there is no cure, i'll be devoured by it someday. i dun wan it to happen. im scared. =(
butterflies whispered at
6/24/2005 01:47:00 AM
