Wednesday, June 15, 2005
some ppl juz cant keep their mouth shut. firdaus told me even e ppl in ngee ann noe bout e scandal of me and ziheng. and i got labelled as a boyfren stealer. great... ppl whom i dun even noe are probably gossiping bout it a few hundred miles away from me. it doesnt matter if its true. e fact dat they dunno e full works of e issue is juz frustrating. word gets from mouth to ear to mouth to ear a few million times over, and there's bound to be distortion of the story. yea, IT IS A STORY. ppl juz dun like to hear e truth... dey LOVE e falsified part that provides all e juicy bits. and i reali reali reali have no idea y the world works liddat. weird aint it? i cant reali blame them for being this way too. but if ppl all keep to e principle of honesty and integrity, won it be a betta place for all?
i haben been this worked up for long. e last time it happened was in sec sch when my best frenz turned against me and some others started spreading rumours bout wat happened. i mean, its juz plain vicious la. i duno who did it, but i hope these ppl have a conscience bout wat dey're saying. i juz felt like an old wound dats chucked aside for long, being ripped apart again. this issue is not reali a big matter la, but e fact dat it reminds me of a past experience is juz traumatising all over again. becoz of dat incident, i clammed up. i refused to tell anyone bout my problems and how i was feeling. when e angst and frustrations built up to a climax and i cant take it anymore, i juz took it all out on the penknife. now dat im slowly walking out from dat shadow, its all beginning to cast its malicious gloom on me again. i swear im never going to trust anyone again. im never going to confide in anybody anymore. dun cajole me into these games anymore.
i won bother clearing up my innocence. der's too many ppl to clarify to anyway. its useless. some ppl are juz not worth e effort. let em speak wateva dey wan and i won care, as long as my conscience is clear. dats all dat i hafta account for. i'll let time and fate decide e rest.
ppl who truly noe me, noe best. juz wanna thank firdaus for standing up for me. and for those who in one way or another facilitated this spreading, u noe who you are. my heartfelt thank you for making me learn a valuable lesson.
and now i noe e power of e mouth. "Fan ke yi luan chi, hua bu ke yi luan jiang" now i truly comprehend e meaning of this saying. why dun dey propagate "seeing is believing" instead?
butterflies whispered at
6/15/2005 12:37:00 AM
