Friday, June 24, 2005
exams are finally over. had my last paper and im free from e clutches of mid years... for e time being. ah... last min studying helped a lil i guess. some of e things i read came out, but most of e time, i was crapping and making things outta nutting. bout 90% of e stuff i wrote probably weren't what he thought... i juz added in my own coz i simply dunno how else to fill up a decent one and a half pages for each question.
yeap. went to town wif andrew, yingpeng, elaine and chaoshun. went to meridien hotel's shopping plaza downstairs to have elaine's jeans customised. she brought like 7 pairs and e total cost is like onli 71 bucks. $10 for each on average which is a pretty good deal coz it'll be done according to her way of wanting it.. and some include converting jeans to skirt and stuff liddat. quite cool eh... shall do der someday and do e same wif my unusable jeans. den went to.... OG again!!!!!! haha. i bought a bikini top from bodynits. thats going for onli half price, at a cool $13.45. wanted to buy it for my fren... but decided against it coz she probably won wear it. shall get her something else when i see something betta. i tried it myself and it was tooooo small!!! hahaha. i tink im going back to change it for a medium-sized bottom... coz e cutting of the bikini doesnt go wif my body. haha. looks funny wen i wear it. den went cineleisure and shared yoshinoya wif elaine b4 heading home. i tell u ah... my heels were practically killing me lor. in order to fit into their looks (all of them are at least 170cm lor...), i wore 3 inch heels. wahhhhhhh... all dat walking is taking my life. its quite a funny picture lor... 3 giants, 1 tall girl, and 1 short misfit. hahahaha. and i nv felt more grateful when i finally reached home and rested my feet on level ground. i almost flew.
speaking of bikinis, tml im going to suntan at sentosa wif gwen! weeeeeeeeeee. i was intending to wear e pink one dat xiaowen gave me... but its a halterneck and e tanline will show. so i was trying all means and ways to find out how to wear it without looping it around my neck... den i was struck by an ingenius idea!!!!!!! i turned it into a tube-halter instead by juz changing e way it could be worn, and dats juz wat exactly i wanted to buy initially. im so happy!!!!!! no more tanlines whoohooo!!! i actuali took down e pic of its 'transformation'... got 'before' and 'after' summo. cant wait to get my new tan!!
and how could i forget to comment on Project Superstar? 4 contestants were cruelly kicked out.. but thankfully weilian still remained. from e start of e auditions till now, he's been e onli one i've supported wholeheartedly not coz i pity him for being blind, but coz he's e onli one who sings from the heart. i dunno how, but whenever he sings, his voice and emotions touches me. what's more, his bravery to stand up amongst his competitors despite his disability is reali admirable. he may not have e looks, e talent... but he definitely has e passion and perseverance to go on. his performance on wednesday may be a lil lacklustre, but i believe he'll reach greater heights in the later round. JIAYOU, WEILIAN!!!!!!!
the night before:i dunno wat got into me. after blogging, its bout 1.50am. packed my stuff and went to sleep.. but i tossed and turned without any inclination of falling asleep. my senses suddenly became very heightened, to e state of hypersensitivity. onli my bro was in e room wif me. i lay on e mattress, an unknown force paralysing my body. i became acutely aware of e sounds around me; e churning of the air-con.. e creak of e window grille.. e bus passing by 14 storeys below. with each and every sound, my body froze and broke out in cold sweat. i have no idea why im so afraid. i opened my eyes and surveyed e surroundings for anything, but there was none. but whenver i closed my eyes, my ears took on even more alertness. i tot i vaguely heard e shrill sound of a whistle somewhere, and i juz stopped breathing altogether. i felt my heart thumping erratically and my brain was juz overwhelmed by fear. i chanted prayers and hoped dat e sound won come closer to me. it went away but e other sounds kept making me jump. i tried to tink positive tots, i tried to escape into dreamland. i forced myself to dream. but e noise would then wake me up again in the cold, dark room. i was so so afraid. it was a horrible feeling. i juz felt like screaming in fear to keep these away. there wasn't even e consideration to cry.. i juz felt reali empty in e head, my breathing was becoming heavy, i felt e central area of my face becoming numb. i felt like something was zapping my life, my consciousness away, like im going to faint or slip into a coma or juz die. i fought to keep awake and i jerked up in an abrupt motion that almost caused a cardiac arrest. i felt reali scared and reali helpless, but i knew nutting was wrong. it had to be my hallucination. i became so scared dat i resorted to creeping up e bed and sleeping next to my younger brother for security. i even put my fingers on his arm to feel his presence... i dunno what was happening to me and it was frightening. e time was oredi 3am and i realised dat i had been consumed by fear all this while for no reason at all. still, i couldnt sleep... e sounds seem to become an existent presence in my head. until i used my bolster to cover my ears so that i wont hear e sounds anymore, that i finally found sleep. writing bout it makes me recall. and recalling it brings back all e physical contortions i've experienced last night. i feel my heart being repressed now.. im feeling scared....... i dunno what to do....... what the hell is wrong wif me????????
butterflies whispered at
6/24/2005 11:40:00 PM
